Rant (skip this, it's nothing)

Okay, let's start again today. But without my weird smile this time.

As you've known, I wanted to write since Saturday (as in three days ago) but I wasn't allowing myself to be here as I was pretty emotional that day. LOLS~



But I'm okay now, I guess.

To be honest, I enjoy solitude sooo very much but it seems like people just don't urgghhhh understand that 🙄 Heck they won't even try to understand! They thought I am someone who can't be independent! Can’t be left alone to survive! Ever! Such a baby!

Eww no~!

I love walking alone, guys.

Doing my things, alone.

Like, I'm used to it.

How nice and sweet and warm of you to feel sorry for me, but I also need some times alone.

You know?

It's called: ME-TIME.


ME TIME.



ME TIME.



ME TIME.


Whenever someone interferes with my life, or even my good friendship with my best of friends, I always be the first one to take a step back. It's obvious, I will always do that. Not that I'm giving up you know, it’s just I don't want to hurt anyone, and myself.

Sometimes I thought I could control my feeling but the sadness is still there :( why can't you just leave me alone?

But mr. sadness only visits for a while tho. Allah loves all of us :) count on Him.

However...

when you seem so independent, people start to like you. -.-

Which is not good.

Because that's the reason I always get hit on by strangers oooyessssdamnit I know I never talked about this because I don't feel the need to do so. But it's the bitter truth. 😒 WTH do those guys like lonely girl or what?!



All these times, all I do is blocking, blocking, and more blocking. I've blocked so many users from so many social media before I even realized but oh heyyy it's pretty amaaaaaazing! I'm very good at that. 🙂

I have two facebook accounts btw, and my other account has blocked the orange kitty also. In other words, I have blocked him. Yes, the only person that I really, really like. Surprising, but I just can't help it. Once, I missed him so bad I tried to stalk his facebook that day and other social media, I found his twitter mannnn! Hehe ^^ so happy. Then that night I dreamt I was reading his blog (I know... doesn’t make sense) and he actually wrote about my cat??

Hold your laughter, it's not funny at all.



I woke up feeling aware of my surroundings and...

(I don't like that feeling tbh. Seriously it's just not good. What if he actually follows my blog? What if he actually owns a blog?! Gosh this is too much! 🤦🏻‍♀️ I should probably stop reading chick lit)

Hey orange kitty, *ehem* I mean assalamualaikum, if you're reading this (which I hope you don't), pleaseeee act like you don't know anything okay. Thank you, I appreciate that :)

So, I guess I won't be opening my facebook anymore. (I don't want to experience that kind of dream twice)

Instagram is already buried deep, deep down of nowhere.

Twitter?

Not entertaining at all -.-

Psst, I don't know where this post is going but I'm gonna write anyway... and it's okay if you don't wanna read, stop right here.

Btw I'm reading Percy Jackson And The Greek Gods now. Just in case you're wondering...

Oooo you're so not. Haha XD

Also I am thinking about moving inside the college again this semester. Waitttt don't get me wrong, people. I love my roommates and housemates so freaking much. Sumpah tak tipu ✋🏻. They've never ever made me sad or angry or anything bad. Never!



But.

Manusia memang tak pernah bersyukur kan. Pffft. Me, apparently. 🤭

I just miss everything that I could've done if I live in there. Like the first two years I was in UMK :)

Why can't I do that now?

Okay well, I am scared to do so.. from where I'm living. Weird cases are happening at night I just don't want to take the risks wukayyy. Yeah you can act brave but kalau benda nak jadi haaa, I cannot!

Friends?

Come on~ I don't have any friend that are willing to do what I want to do.

Yeah it is so sad. Thanks for stating the obvious. Here's a cookie 🍪

My efforts just went out the windows like whyyyyy is it like thattttt??!! but then, I know Allah is the One who holds their hearts. And for the time being, I might not be the right person to pass the message for them :)

Anyways., I'm gonna do that sooner or later.

Moving on, I only have Arabic class today. (I won't show you my timetable, it is so screwed-up) It was fun as always. I got an A+ btw for last semester aaaaaaaand

fyi I am not proud of it. Not at all.

If you're my friends from Lati, then you know that Arabic was my ultimate forte. This girl never scored less than 95% uhh I'm not bragging I'm not bragging. I just loveeee Arabic. 😂

And now, how I regret that I do not enroll in other language. Like Spanish? or French?

Yeah~ Those...

I feel bad for Ustaz also for I always being silent in his class. I am so sorry~ T.T

I wouldn't dare to make any sound or else it would be just me talking, and eventually chirping like Woody Woodpecker... just how I always did in late Ustazah Suriah (do recite al-fatihah for her, thanks) and Ustaz Ezani's class hehe XD. The only time I really focused on him was when he spoke fully in Arabic. But oh never mind that, guys guys don't feel sorry for him, he always made us do so many impromptu presentations last semester I felt uselesssssssss all the times in front of the class omg you've no idea -.- I don't even feel embarrassed or anything at him now, never mind also the fact that he is only 27. Aww. And unmarried lol. Eh tetiba.

Okay next. I can't wait to finish my studies! Goodbye.