Monday, 21 March 2016

Trap

Frequently asked questions (FAQ) *askfm* :

1. Kenapa Aliaa deactivate facebook?

Sebaaaaaab..rasa tak selamat. People are staring from everywhere lol. But it's temporary I'll be back >_< Soon okay. Soon. *don't unfriend me please~*

2. Tapi dah lama ni x back2 pun?

Back2 macam cakap ngan kambing. Hehe. Sorry, sila bagi lima sebab kenapa perlu reactivate. Masa nak deactivate haritu pun aku bagi lima sebab jugak. Aku kan suka menulis. (ticking the options is too mainstream don't you think?)

3. Who read your blog?

Ntah. Mostly kawan-kawan rapat jer kot. Alaa tak kisah pun sape baca, tulis suka-suka jer. Bukan buat duit pun :)

4. Agak-agak your crush baca tak blog you?

Siapa?! Paddy-heart-stopping-Mcnair ke Antoinne-melt-my-heart-Griezmann? XD hahaha well whoever he is.. I think it's better if he doesn't. I'm such a weirdo here. By the way I don't think guys read blog or enjoy blogwalking unless they own one..idk.

5. Do you ever feel like you're pretty?

Dude~ please. Jangan tanya soalan yang boleh buat aku riak wa takabbur wa 'ujub ..err dan perasan. Tolonglah~ Hahahhaha. Honestly I do sometimes (and then I'll feel really² guilty. Tak malu ke Allah bagi ko pinjam pastu ko buat macam ko laa yg cipta kecantikan tu?)

6. I see that you really enjoy each moment with your good friends. Do you know that some girls are actually feeling insecure with your existance?

Insecure? *that's funny* Then what are they going to do with me? *okay I've no answer for this one* truth is I rarely notice the people around me. I don't even remember the colour of my best friend's bag(that she carries to class everyday) for god's sake! Japp~ asal nak insecure bagai ni??

7. Wehh orang dm ke pm tu reply ah! Senyum ke kalau jumpa kat mana2. Sombong :(

Woah woah chill! You're a male, I know it. Hello anyway~ Bro, aku mmg tak reti nk senyum kat laki. Nak communicate pun susah sebenarnya. Haha. Call me sombong or whatever you want, I don't mind. Put me in close proximity to a guy and you can usually rely on me to have an acute heart attack lol. I can never be friendly with a guy like seriously friendly gila2 kecuali kalau kau tu classmates aku masa sekolah rendah(actually sorang dua je kot). Just that, so you don't need to approach me or you'll end up calling me sombong. Very easy man!

8. Have you experienced heartbreak?

Everytime MU lose :'(   no kidding, you see I can't even write 'lol' here. But, but...BUT, diorang menang lawan City semalam! Yay! Hehe..aku rasa memang tak boleh puji kot before game, kalau tak mesti kalah. Duh~ okay, I won't say anything.


♥   ♥   ♥   ♥   ♥

Assalamualaikum


It's ironic isn't it? how we already know that there is a trap set up on our way, but we still follow that particular path and then...fail.

Game over.
.
.
.
Oh, you don't get it?
.
.
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Hehe. Of course you don't.
.
.
.
Because I'm talking about myself.
.
.
.

When I'm going through his instagram account or sometimes his facebook timeline(this might freak him out lol), there is a huge feeling of guilt in my heart yet I still do it. And that's how I fall into the trap. The trap of the devils.

I remembered wishing him a 'happy birthday' last year. I regretted it as soon as I clicked the send button. What had I done? What had I done? Kenapa bongok sangat? You're not supposed to distract him with something crappy like that.

Brilliant, Aliaa. Really. Whilst you're praying for him to forget you yet you do the thing that exactly reminds him of you.

Months have passed but I still feel sooooo terrible.

Before this, there are a lot of things that I do because I want to be a better person.

There, I've made a mistake.

I soon realize that I do everything because of him. Oh yes, him. Oh dear heart, you've become soooo weak. Why~~

I memorize more surah, I do goods for all the people around me,  ignoring every negative feeling that comes subsiding inside my soul..

but everything doesn't feel alright at all.

*hi genius, so you can see me*

I slap my face twice. I know I should do it thrice.

Wake up!

You have fooled yourself. He's a good person. But doing something because of him instead of HIM is stupid.

Think of all the sins you will accumulate for every unlawful gaze you give him. He's not even yours, and you're not his.

Where the heck is your modesty?


"Where's your sense of shame?"
says Nouman Ali Khan.


Who's holding your heart right now?
.
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I say Allah. Of course.
.
.
.

But then why do you stutter?
.
.

Really? I do?

...oh my god...


Honestly, I don't want this to be a waste of time. I really don't.

Please, please, please.. Please make it worth it.

Can I blame him?

Of course not. He never asked me to put this to heart or take it seriously.

Once you put a non-halal someone(ok I make this up) in your heart, it will be restless in the very end..no matter what. It's not a thing that Allah blessed, that's why. Everyone knows that.

Now when I recalled everything that happened on 13th August last year, I'd just laugh my heart out. It's funny how I missed only one alphabet and I thought
 
"No, no, no. Oh no... Seriously, I'm so done. Okay..whatever"

But I wasn't! >_< (it was a 'second' chance sent from above, wasn't it?)

There's this one question that I've been dying to ask him since that day, but I'm too dumbfounded to do so.

 
Why? 
 

Lol I don't even know how to complete the question but that's it!

I still have to thank him though...for coming into my life. It's so out of the blue. Also for being a boundary that keeps me from other...err... other guys? Yup. That's it. Besides, all the things that I've done before~ actually made me feel sinful to even leave any of them. So yeah, I'll definitely continue everything.

And definitely not for someone, but The One.

If there's love between us, then I'm sure we'll meet one day.
*Oh, not love. Love is never enough to make it lasts forever. Jodohlah hahaha*
One day I hope, in the most beautiful way that He blessed.

Eh eh eh~ who are you anyway? I think he doesn't even know that this page exists  XD

P/s : I'm a huge fan of Tarbiah Sentap, so my dear readers, a visit to this page won't hurt you I guess. Really :). Please read it.

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